#23: radical love (either a really dumb tinyletter or just what you needed)
So...you were going to get fire and brimstone, my anger channeled into letter-shaped form, but we're not doing that today. There's enough of that going around. More than enough. People have said it better than I would, and there will be plenty more chances. It's been a long week/month/etc.
Today I cleaned the house. I made a to do list. I started to pull myself back together, because there is work to be done on every level work can be done.
Instead of rolling around in our fear and anger today, I want instead to indulge in a special one of my pep talks. Come in close. Prepare to roll your eyes, and then maybe, grudgingly nod. Laugh at me. Tell me I am an idiot and this is not helpful. GOOD GOD, GWENDA, pull yourself together. Tell me that. Whatever you need. We're all in a weird place right now.
Beneath everything, we're going to continue to be angry and tired and sad for awhile now. But the thing about those emotions is that they're only as useful as we let them be. And the best way to focus, to gear up for the long fight, to remember what it's all about -- the way we fight extreme hate and its agenda?
I think it's with radical love. I do not mean for that man's voters; this is not 'give anyone a chance.' I mean for each other, for the world. A lot of us woke up to the feeling that everything we thought about the world was wrong. Other people woke up to the guy they voted for having made everyone who didn't feel that way (I'm not ready to talk to you guys about that, T voters, if any of you are reading this; maybe later, except to say that if you witness hate or hateful acts or something you didn't vote for, please stand up). Others still woke up irritated that so many of us white people seemed to not realize this was the world we lived in all along. All valid feelings.
But I have to move to that next space, and I'm guessing a lot of you do too. We've been calling and writing and getting plans together, but there's a long haul ahead.
I know I need to get my own head back on straight. There is too much work to be done not to. To spend too much time in rage mode. I can't think as well when I'm there.
And so I challenge you to make a list of things you love about/in this world. Those things you still know and understand. Those things probably still exist. Those are what we build the fire with for the long fight. We're all still here. We're all us. Team Good.
Here's my list of things I love, radically, necessarily incomplete, and in no particular order after the beginning:
Christopher
All my people
Puck
Hemingway
Emma and George, RIP
the light in the fall
hearing a new song for the first time and falling in love with it
hearing an old beloved song for the first time in ages and loving it all over again
people I know or respect winning awards or being feted in any way
BOOKS
buying books
writing books
STORIES
the way really good paper feels
poetry, angry and pretty and sad
the light in the spring
a really good walk
falling in love with new characters
good TV that isn't depressing
reality shows where people with skills compete with (mostly) respect (Project Runway, SYTYCD, Top Chef)
space
science I can barely understand
how big the world is
meeting someone whose background is completely different than mine
having a great conversation with an old friend(s)
having a great conversation with a new friend
a nice glass of wine
pizza
sushi
the smile a kid gets when they meet their favorite author for the first time
reader mail
being silly
hanging upside down on aerial silks
doing a solid for someone and not telling them
recommending someone else for a job
old houses that still have their bones
the parts of history that make me proud
the people who fought to change the parts of our history that don't
arguing without anger
people who make me laugh
a dance party
karaoke when other people are singing
binging a show in an truly extreme way
random dogs, even if they're not good dogs
random cats, especially if they're not good cats
all your pet photos all the time
all your cute kid photos all the time
cobblestones
screwball comedies
roller skates
the way a community can pull together
those teens who've been walking out in protest of the election or slurs against other kids in their schools
small acts of bravery
big acts of bravery
medium acts of bravery
seeing a movie on opening night in a full theater
seeing a movie in an empty theater
making other people laugh
making other people cry (in a good way)
a good hug from someone I love
feminists
America
Hamilton
women's basketball, but mostly only in person
Mario Cippolini's dramatics in professional bicycling
Golden retrievers
avocados
bread
butter
comic books
graphic novels
librarians
libraries
bookstores
booksellers
bookstore cats and dogs
telling someone to fuck off and meaning it
bad-ass ladies and gentlemen
standing up for someone else
soft old t-shirts that don't look like sacks
lipstick that stays on
pajamas
skirts with pockets
how complicated the world is (except when I hate it)
how many people were out there doing good work before who still are
how many more people will be out there doing good work now
Hillary
Chelsea too
THOSE WOMEN y'all
editors
copy editors
people who can draw
paintings that make me see the world in a new way
photographs that reveal a secret world in this one
going to a new museum
singing along with the radio
a clean desk
having money in the bank (rare and lovely)
having health insurance (mayday back to happy thoughts)
helping explain something complicated to someone because I understand it
having something complicated explained to me by someone who understands it
helping a writer solve a problem
giving just the right present
costume jewelry
a kick-ass pair of boots
people fighting the good fight for the long haul
I love you all. I'll be there fighting the good fight with you.